There are hundreds, if not thousands of ways to divide human beings. But something that comes up often on this blog, is the difference between introverts and extroverts.
If you’re familiar with the blog, you know that I’m an introvert. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to be around people and sit at home all the time, but it does mean that I need time for myself to recharge after I’ve been around people. In comparison, extroverts recharge by being around people. They thrive when they’re around others.
Because of this, starting a new job is an entirely different experience for introverts and extroverts. As an introvert, it’s something that I’ve struggled with in the past when starting new jobs or when I started college a few years ago. Oh, and I’m going back to school after the summer, so I’ll have to go through that all over again.
But there are a few things that I do to help me get through something that’s so emotionally draining for me. I used to have some unhealthy coping mechanisms, but I’m now in the group of humans (another way to divide us) that believes that coping mechanisms can be healthy. Here’s what I do.
Before you start
Research: And when I say research, I mean research. Of course, you already know a few things about the company because you applied for a job and had a job interview there, but I like to go further. I read everything. I stalk the employees on LinkedIn (I turn off that feature that tells them who’s looking on their profile) and I will read reviews from previous employees. Somehow, this helps me quiet down some of my anxiety.
Take time for yourself in the morning: Get up early. Go for a run. Get coffee at your favorite cafe before you get into the office. Make yourself comfortable. It’s a small act of self-love, but it makes all the difference. Read More »
A while back, I started keeping track of how often I actually apologize in my daily life. It was brought to my attention by a friend after spending some time with her at the mall.
”You always apologize” she said.
I wanted to get defensive and tell her that it really wasn’t that bad – until I realized I really do apologize a lot. In just two days, I apologized for the following things:
I’m sorry for being in your way
I’m sorry for getting back to you so late
I’m sorry for having to ask this
(In a meeting) I’m sorry, before we move on..
(On the phone) I’m sorry, before you hang up..
And once I even said ”I’m sorry for apologizing so much” which took the freaking cake.
Can you relate? Do you wish you could stop? I certainly did. I did a little research to help understand this habit better, and then experimented with my way of speaking a bit, and I think I found a good solution!
Women apologize more than men
If you think you hear women apologize more often than men, you’re completely right.
“Men aren’t actively resisting apologizing because they think it will make them appear weak or because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions,” said study researcher Karina Schumann, a student at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada.
“It seems to be that when they think they’ve done something wrong they do apologize just as frequently as when women think they’ve done something wrong. It’s just that they think they’ve done fewer things wrong.”
The threshold for what women think is offensive is lower in general, which is why we apologize a lot more. We tend to think we’re a lot more offensive than we actually are, even if the person we’re communicating with isn’t even offended in the first place.
I know from personal experience that saying sorry is something I do out of habit, ‘just in case’ someone is offended: I’d rather say sorry then to be seen as unmotivated or lazy. But what this research doesn’t tell us is why women are so much more apologetic than men. Read More »
We all have to work our way up, and especially when you’re young you can expect to work some jobs you don’t really like and aren’t as fulfilling as you hoped they would be. If anything, it’s part of life.
Once you graduate college, you’re going to be hunting for that one job. I could know. After I graduated college in June of last year I started freelancing to combat this, but I quickly realized that it’s hard to pay all your bills, save up to rent a place, pay back college debt and have money on the side to do fun stuff. It’s certainly possible, and although I love the freelance life, I quickly realized how much I missed actually going to work, chatting with co-workers and being actually done at the end of the day.
Long story short, I’m on the hunt for a job again. This made me think about how to know when a job is right for you – and how to know when a job isn’t right for you.
You might not know that the job isn’t right for you right away, it could be months or years before you start realizing that you’re unhappy where you are. Here are three signs to look out for.
You’re not giving it your 100%
If you’re truly invested in your job and love the challenge, you will give it your 100%. But if it isn’t the right job for you, you will quickly find yourself not really caring about the work and how well it’s going. You won’t be giving it your 100%, instead, you’ll give it just enough. This happens to a lot of people, and it’s definitely a sign that this job isn’t for you in the long run.
You’re ashamed of your job
If you can’t bring yourself to tell others what you do, you’re in the wrong job for sure. Of course, we live in a society where some people are shamed for the work they do, and it sucks, but if you’re perfectly happy in your waitress job (absolutely nothing wrong with that, I know people who love working in the food industry or customer service!) you shouldn’t be ashamed to tell others about it because you love it and you care about what you do. Read More »